The Bucket List

No, I won’t die “from” M.S.  But, I will die eventually from something.  Of course, I’m hoping that’s decades from now.

Having M.S. has certainly changed my perspective about how I plan to live out the rest of my days.  I’ve done all I can to remove useless stress and worry from my daily existence.  I’m calmer and more subdued.  Really!  Yesterday, while getting onto the highway, a rock hit my car windshield.  (Ironically, this occurred at the same point on the same entrance to the same highway where I “lost” my regular vision just before my diagnosis.  Think someone is sending me a message)?  Anyway, the pre-diagnosis Kim would have flipped out and freaked out.  She would have stressed about coughing up unplanned dollars for the deductible.  She would have fretted the whole way to the office and likely for days afterwards.  How did I react? I thought, Wow. My windshield’s broken. That stinks.  I’m surprised I didn’t end the sentence with “Dude.”  In my head, I sounded so relaxed, like a stereotypical surfer-chick.  “Damn! That’s a tough break, Dude.”  Did you know that there are companies that bring a truck right to your office or home and fix your windshield for you? “Dude! That’s way-cool!”

Ok, enough of playing a female version of Keanu Reeves.  You get the idea.  I’m in “No worries” mode.  I’m also really caught up in the whole “Bucket List” idea.  Have you heard about it? I’m dying to see the new movie of the same title, starring a very aged-looking Jack Nicholson and one of my favorite actors of all time Morgan Freeman. Plus, John Mayer is on the soundtrack.  That’s makes the movie worthy of my $5 alone!  Picture Morgan and Jack together: “Bu”…”cket”…”Bucket.”  “L”…”ist”…List.  Sorry, I slipped back to Electric Company days there.

In the flick, the characters make a list of things they want to do before they kick the proverbial bucket, hence: The Bucket List.  I never had a list like this because, of course, I never thought about death or even disability before. I still don’t think about death very much, but disability is in the forefront of my mind.  

A lot of the items that would make it on my list will cost some serious money, so since we’re in Phase II of Reinvention, we’re going to have to take it slow with those particular dreams and aspirations.  There are others, though, that I can start kicking off the list this year. (The neurotic in me, as outlined in Phase I of Reinvention, loves this list-making idea)!

I haven’t given deep thought to what should be on the list and I assume the list will evolve as I continue to change.  Off the top of my head, though, are some important things I want to do, see, and be in the near future.  In no particular order:

• Return to the Lakehouse Inn at Geneva on the Lake, Ohio – a lovely B&B owned by a friendly and gracious Italian family — wine makers.  I want to revisit all of the wineries from our first trip, but in better shape than last time.  (I enjoyed too much of the Lakehouse’s own vintages before a day full of wine tasting last time).

• Spend some serious time on the hubby’s motorcycle – Lucy – this summer.  Last year, I think I rode her three, maybe four times.  Why so little? Because I was busy with work, with school, with obligations.  Nothing is more freeing than being on the back of a bike with its engine relaxing you into a state of calm. And nothing is more liberating than riding along the shore at 60 miles an hour, with the wind in your face and bugs in your teeth. (If I could only learn to keep my mouth shut while riding along).  This summer will be different.

• It’s time to get back in the saddle again.  I keep talking about it, but like so many other things in my past, I have pushed it aside for other responsibilities and obligations.  I used to love horseback riding as a young girl.  I’m dying to take “real” lessons and make friends with a gentle mare.

• Finally take the hubby to whale watch in Boothbay Harbor, Maine. I met my first angel there. His name was Bob. (I’ll have to tell you that story some day). My two-week stay there years ago changed the course of my life forever. We keeping putting off the trip, thinking we’ll get to it some other time.  The whales are calling and hubby – so is the Cabela’s Outlet in nearby Freeport!

• Ramp up my efforts to support the local office of the National M.S. Society – through participation in events, fundraisers, and as a public face of someone with M.S. Everything happens for a reason and I’m assuming this may indeed be my newfound calling in life.

• Plan for my all-important trip with my step-daughter, Kimmy, just two-and-a-half short years from now when she turns 21.  I promised her a weekend in the Big Apple, limo and all, to celebrate in high style.  I’m counting the days! Add to that list, as part of this trip, and other separate adventures to NYC, to see every inch of Central Park!

• Speaking of Kimmy, and this will likely be one of the first to make it off this list (”off” as in completed successfully) – I plan to get a tattoo and I’m doing it along with Kim (and maybe even the hubby). We’ve already planned for the artwork and the location – at least for mine. Ignore the awful name today’s teens have given to the location of the artwork –  “Tramp Stamp” – a tattoo on my lower back, just above and just below my belt line.  I’m getting a beautiful sun above the waist line and a sunset below. No moons are being permanently inked onto my body!  Tattoos are allowable for M.S. patients (yes, I’ve already checked it out) as long as I don’t cover an injection site. I’ll never need to inject into my lower back (thank the dear Lord), so I’ll be safe.  I turn 40 in May and have promised I’ll cross this one off the list before that date arrives.

• Spend more quality time with family – my parents, my in-laws, and my extended family.  Whether in-person, by email, or by phone, its time I reorganize my priorities to focus on the important things in life. It’s time to reconnect.

• Learn to sew, or quilt, or knit or something womanly.  I barely can sew on a button.  Thank goodness for my other daughter, Kerri Elizabeth.  She’s a master at the art and fixes all my damaged items at home.  Learning this skill takes patience and time.  I’ll get there at some point.

• Finally get those three letters after my name – Ed.D.  Doctor Kimberly Fabrizio.  It has a nice ring, doesn’t it? I’m close, but not close enough.  It’s been put on the list as an official reminder of just how close I am to the prize.

• Get to Europe – and if I only have one choice – to Italy.  Get back to Cancun, specifically the Moon Palace – and soon!

• Redefine and strengthen my relationship with God; not necessarily with a particular religious denomination or physical structure, but with God Himself.

• Someday invest in an R.V., with a satellite dish on the roof, and a laptop inside.  Hopefully, I’ll land a faculty position with an online university so I can travel the country, seeing all the states I’ve yet to visit, while teaching along the way.

• Spend every free moment of the next couple of years with the love of my life, my Oboe. We’re running out of valuable time together.

There are many more items that should live on this list.  We’ll revisit the topic more in the future. 

In the meantime, what’s on your Bucket List?