Isn’t that a great saying? No, I can’t take credit for it myself. But when I heard it, I grabbed a piece of paper and my lipstick (that was the only thing I had handy at the time) and I just had to write it down. “Vengeance is a lazy form of grief.” Nicole Kidman spoke those words in the movie The Interpreter. Kidman’s character works at the U.N., overhears an assassination plot, and becomes embroiled in the plot and with the FBI investigator (Sean Penn) assigned to look into her claim.
Kidman spoke these words when telling of the horrific killing of her entire family at the hands of a South African warlord. Despite not ever having something as horrific as annihilation happen in my world, as soon as I heard the statement, I felt an automatic connection to it.
I’ve written before about experiencing the seven stages of grief as I continue to work through this diagnosis of M.S. Of course, anger is right up there in the list of stages. Vengeance is synonymous with violent revenge, more so than with anger itself. But vengeance can also be easily correlated with just the desire for revenge (without acting out on the impulse).
Honestly, there have been a few periods in my life where I think I desired revenge against something or someone who hurt me. That desire often passed quickly as time wore on and as the pain subsided. While I can count on less than one hand the times I’ve been filled with vengeance, I see it all around me. I see it in the national news. I hear it in the words of some very angry M.S. sufferers. Reality television shows are filled with vengeance. I recall this Bible passage from my youth: “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord,” as He tells us to not be overcome by evil, but overcome by good.
Vengeance is a lazy form of grief.
The way I interpret this statement is that it’s easier to be vengeful than it is to survive the process (and it can be a process) of grieving. Choosing vengeance is the lazy way out. Delivering a payback, or wishing harm or punishment on another is a simplistic way of dealing with our personal anger. Grieving is much more difficult; but don’t we learn the most about life and about ourselves through the difficult and adverse experiences we are forced to encounter? I wanted to share this simple statement so that perhaps it sticks in each of your minds as much as it has in mine. If I’m ever confronted by a situation where vengeance is an option, I’ll remember that it really is just a lazy form of grief.
Sounds like the gentleman from earlier (the one who said you were in denial) actually was taking the “lazy” way out. It seems to me like he wanted vengeance instead of working his way through the difficult journey of grief. Apparently, only strong people can ultimately avoid vengeance. Besides…who can do vengeance better than “The Big Guy Upstairs”? I’ll let him handle that for me! lol
I enjoyed reading what you had to say. It takes a strong person to cope with adversity by doing good things instead of the “lazy” way of blaming others and seeking revenge.
Just wanted to let you know that this is a beautiful website
I too grabbed pen and jotted down that saying(vengeance is a lazy form of grief) i am a practicing buddhist and it hit at the core of me for some reason,that i am not yet sure about…i later typed it in on net and here i am…this looks like a nice web site
its uncanny. i did the exact thing, except i tore a paper lying around, and penned it, stuck it in my closet… and pulled it out to scan and use in a series of paintings i call VENGEANCE.
http://picasaweb.google.co.in/adilbw/VENGEANCETwoPaintings#