We encounter ridiculous questions all the time; the type of questions that if the person asking took the time to think about, they’d never open their mouths. Examples:
· Our work break room was decorated with balloons and a giant cake with “Happy 40th!!” on it sat on one of the tables. Plates, forks, and napkins were all over the room and the group was singing “Happy Birthday” to the guest of honor. A co-worker walked into the room and said, “Wow! Is it someone’s birthday?” (No, we all just thought it’s been a long winter and we needed a reason to eat cake and ice cream).
· I was having lunch with an associate at a downtown restaurant. The place was crowded and loud; filled with the lunchtime crowd. An acquaintance walked by and asked, “Are you having lunch here today?” (No, the church was full and we thought we’d celebrate Mass here instead).
· The mailman, while making his normal delivery, saw an old friend standing at our reception desk. The friend asked, “So, you’re a mailman now?” (No, he’s just trying out his Halloween costume a little early).
Comedian Bill Engvall calls these: “Here’s your sign” moments – those ridiculous questions that believe it or not surround us in great quantity daily. We’ve heard the saying before: “There are no stupid questions.” Engvall would disagree.
Lots of people ask me lots of questions about Multiple Sclerosis. I’m actually glad they do. It shows me that they are interested in learning about the disease (for whatever reason); that they are inquisitive and they feel comfortable approaching me to talk about my situation. I can’t say that I’ve run into any “stupid” or “ridiculous” questions, but I have encountered a few that gave me a moment’s pause:
· “Are you one of Jerry’s Kids now?” (No, I have M.S. – Multiple Sclerosis, not M.D. – Muscular Dystrophy). This has been asked of me several times now and one person even followed up my answer with: “Darn, I thought you could be part of the telethon next year.”
· “Hey, Kim, where does someone go to buy a wheelchair”? (Um, I don’t know, why)? “Well, you have M.S. so I thought you’d know.”
· “Is it contagious?” (Depending on how much I like the person, I’m often tempted to sneeze and say, “Yes!” But, no, M.S. is not in any way contagious).
· “Oh my gosh, isn’t that what Lou Gehrig died from?” (Nope. That would be ‘Lou Gehrig’s Disease’ or A.L.S. — Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. Both M.S. and A.L.S. involve scarring on the brain, but the two diseases are very different).
· “Is something wrong with your shoes?” (No again. My shoes are perfectly fine; my legs just don’t always cooperate with me. I’m betting if my shoes could walk on their own, they’d appear to be working very normally).
· “How long did they give you?” (Um, to what? Oh, to LIVE?). Ok, so that might be one question that the person could have taken the time to research instead of asking me. FYI, folks – people don’t die from M.S.
· The hubby has heard this one a couple of times: “How different does she look now?” He’s a jokester, so I can only imagine how he responded. (No, I don’t look like a Klingon).
Bill Engvall is exactly who I thought of when I read the title of your post! I love him!
But, seriously, though I don’t have MS, I get these types of questions in relation to having twins. Sometimes I just want to say to them “Here’s your sign” and walk away!
OMG! This post gave me a bronchospasm fit from laughter (I’ve been down with a respiratory virus)!!! My first thought is to tell you “thank you” for the humor…but then again, you DID nearly kill me…LOL
Linda D. in Seattle
Oh, ya I used to get questions like that about my twins, too. It’s been a while, so I had forgotten. I would be out and about with the twins, Nate and Kate–even after they were old enough to tell they were obviously a boy and a girl– and people would ask me if they were identical. Duh. I would answer them very slowly, so as not to lose them with a too-technical explanation: “No, they aren’t. He’s a boy, she’s a girl.”
I now live in a small rural community, very far from my roots in Erie. People of Italian ethnicity here used to change their names in the old days, so others couldn’t discriminate. Being from Erie, and not knowing that kind of discrimination, when I came to town I was proud to claim my Italian ancestry. People look at me with questions thinly veiled–they are polite but don’t get too close. When they speak they always asked me questions about the Godfather movies, and more recently the Sopranos– like whether these shows are accurate. Accurate? you mean for fiction? Well, I guess they are about as accurate as the baldfaced lies our politician’s pass us as truth. IAR.
Try the question: “if the school is on a two hour delay–what time does the bus come?”
or, “if Iroquois does not have school, does this affect the bus coming on time?”
and mine about sore feet….I guess the other option of no pain is that it is too crowded in that six by two and a half box.
I have one thing to say about this post: Have you met my husband?
LOL! I love this one! I have to show my husband as he is a huge Bill Engvall fan. Thank you for the laugh