Preparing for Life’s Major Stressors

No matter what you think of her, your heart had to go out to Oprah last week as she talked about the death of her beloved Sophie; the 13-year-old cocker spaniel died from kidney disease and the death has left Oprah emotional and grieving.  I didn’t see the live show, but the clips I watched left me in tears.  Of course I was thinking about Oboe and what little time we have left together.  The thoughts took me back to when I was first diagnosed and was warned to try to “prepare for life’s major stressors.”

 

There are many who say that major stress can cause exacerbations or relapses of M.S. or can cause a flare in everyday symptoms.  I’ve always thought that to be such an oxymoron – we’re constantly warned to avoid stress, yet just having M.S. brings on a world of stress in and of itself.  Average run of the mill stressors are one thing, but major stressors are another.

 

I’ve noticed that major stress, especially emotional stress, will make my symptoms much worse.  I become much dizzier, my legs burn almost unbearably, the fatigue increases exponentially, and my vision sometimes blurs whenever I’m dealing with emotional stress.  “Regular” stress, as in work deadlines, grocery store madness, or busy schedules doesn’t seem to heighten the symptoms (except for the fatigue factor).

 

There are very few “major life stressors” for which to prepare.  I can’t prepare for the unexpected loss of a family member due to accident or illness, for example. I can’t prepare for the next crazy thing one of my step-kids does. I’ll go nuts trying to develop plans for any possible situation and knowing me, when the moment of surprise hits, the plan would merely be a memory anyway.  But I do know that it’s just a matter of time before Master Oboe moves on to his next life’s adventure.  His hips continue to be weak, his cough persists, and his behaviors are changing.  Regardless, he continues to bound along through life, some days playful as a puppy and others creaking and cracking like an octogenarian.

 

There were three things I prayed to God for when I was first diagnosed.  The first was strength.  The second was for my family, particularly His blessings upon them as they walk this road with me (it’s not easy for any of them).  And, selfishly, the third was that I’d have at least one more year with Oboe; I want to make it at least one full year without a relapse and I worry his death will send me back into near blindness and days hooked up to my Solumedrol drip.  Of course, I want more than one year to wrap up my unfinished business with the big bear, but I’d be grateful for at least those twelve months. Within days of my diagnosis, the hubby and I identified Oboe’s eventually passing as THE most major life stressor we can anticipate in the very near future.  And, for that, we can actually prepare.

 

You might think we’re awfully morbid people, but Sunshine only functions when she has a plan (for everything).  So, we made two plans – and emotional plan and a physical one.  The emotional plan is really moot.  I’m going to be lost without my pup. I will surely grieve and with time will begin to feel better again.  There isn’t much I can do there to prepare except to try to minimize the drama surrounding his passing.  Naturally, then, the physical plan is truly the important one.  The hubby is so worried that I’ll be the one to come home and find Oboe in a state of permanent rest.  We’ve made a specific plan of what I am to do should that situation happen. We’ve also made a plan of how Tom will handle things, especially if I’m traveling for business and unable to get home right away.  He’s promised to work with the Veterinarian’s office to keep Oboe for me until I can get home to say “goodbye.”  We’ve decided on cremation so Oboe can always be with us, wherever we are.  In fact, one of these days I’ll actually pre-pay for all that needs to be done, just to remove that layer of stress from the eventual process.

 

Somehow, whipping out that cash to pay for that unfortunate bill, has just been too hard for me to do so far.