As we all know, I was flying the ever increasing not-so-friendly skies this week.
I have rituals when I fly. I guess I have some sort of ritual for most things really. I book my flights online and in the 24 hours prior to my trip I must check my itinerary a half-dozen times – monitoring for last minute changes and cancellations. I get to the airport early enough so I’m not rushed into a state of stress. That leaves plenty of time to “freshen up” in the ladies room, breeze through security, purchase my post screening bottle of water, and to take my pre-flight Dramamine. I most often drive myself to the airport and I can’t take Dramamine before driving, so I need to arrive early enough for it to take effect. I pre-medicate with other OTC medications, primarily for the vertigo and related stomach upset from flying. I always ask for an aisle seat, and when with my hubby ask for exit row seating to accommodate his long legs and bad knees. Once on the plane I always check for the vomit bag (for lack of a more technical term). Despite never, ever needing one, I just have to know it’s in the seat pocket in front of me, and edged out just over the top, just in case. Then I’m able to settle in and enjoy the trip.
On my trip, I not only landed aisle seats on both legs of my outbound journey, but also seats in the emergency exit row – bonus! My legs have become increasingly irritable and the occasional stretch is beneficial.
Then the flight attendant came by and did her speech about my willingness to fulfill the duties that came with the extra leg room – staying until all passengers were safely off the plane and physically being able to handle the 40 pound weight of the door I’d have to pry open. I said the required verbal “yes” and she moved on to question the next passenger. She asked if I had a medical condition that precluded me from performing the perfunctory duties, and without hesitation I said, “No.” I didn’t give M.S. a second thought until she walked away. After she passed me I wondered, “Did I just lie? Am I really able to open that 40 pound door with my strength issues?”
I didn’t ask to be moved, convincing myself that my laptop case that was also serving as carry-on luggage for this trip was easily 40 pounds. I had carried it up three flights of stairs already that day, without incident. Surely with the adrenaline build-up that would come along with a possible crash, I should be able to get that monster of a door open.
On my return flight, exit row seats were open again. I instead opted for a plain, ‘ole aisle seat without requirements or restrictions. I figured I was in for a short flight anyway so my legs wouldn’t suffer much at all. Hours into being stranded in that little plane, on that tarmac, I wished for the exit row. Lie or no lie, I so wished for that extra leg room!
It was not a lie. You are not your disease and you can do it!
“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”
We say that in court, under oath, and then BOTH sides tell a story that is not even close — every single time.
How can that be if we are telling the truth, whole truth, etc?
There is a variance from the truth.
That is why we require the whole truth.
There is variance from the whole truth.
That is why we require nothing but the truth.
Only after all of that, can both sides begin to lie through their teeth to convince the judge and jury of their nobleness.
Actually, the issue is safety of all passengers.
Whoever is in the row with that door is first on the scene to lead a path to freedom for everyone. (maybe).
Of course, if the plane crashes on THAT side or gets smashed in the air precisely at that door, that person is first in line at the Gate of Heaven or Gate of Hell, depending on their online registration of Life.
But since the issue is safety of the passengers, and YOU are a passenger, then the responsibility for ALL the passengers is not yours. The airline is responsible for that function.
And, this appears to be an oral contract.
There is nothing written on your ticket or elsewhere to indicate a written binding contract. Oral contracts don’t count in life for they are built out of thin air.
Look at the oral contract that has folks uttering:
“Do YOU take THEM to be your lawful wedded spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, til death do you part?”
THIS is an oral contract.
The response is built out of thin air so you can get it over and go eat somewhere.
Loopholes are built in intentionally, between all the commas. It is meant to be broken by at least 1/2 the people who swear to tell the truth of this oral contract.
[Please notice that under oral contract of marriage, they never swear you in to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. THAT phrase is only required in divorce court; not marriage avenue.]
If my hearing loss was mentioned, should I have to leave the seat because the back of the plane could explode to oblivion and I would not hear it (tho I may grab a blanket if the opening and wind causes a chill)?
Then we have the person who is so obese that they require 2-1/2 seats but buy one. They may have strength to lift 400 pounds, but it will take them a 6 month span to walk the distance to the door. Should they move to the back of the plane and thereby redistribute weight to such a degree that the plane points UP?
Should it be men only at the door aisle?
Look at that scrawny flight attendant.
Stare ‘em in the eye.
Then repeat this:
“If YOU can open a door, I can open a door.”
“If YOU can walk up the steps of this plane, I can too.”
“If YOU can open these damn peanuts, I can’t and YOU get paid…..so break out the snack for me”
Then, you could always go with
“In the event this door is needed to save lives, I assure you I will do my best”.
Ain’t that swell?
“Last, if I open this door to protect ALL the passengers, YOU are not a passenger. YOU leave AFTER me…..and I will send you a bill for my services too.”
At this point, you will find out if being tasered cures MS.
Oh, Mr. Lucas, do you have me laughing my proverbial drawers off with this one. What a great giggle for a Sunny Saturday! Thanks for the laugh.
OH MY GOSH! Danny, THAT was the best!!!! Thanks for starting my week off with a good belly laugh!
I don’t know if you told a lie or not. But you should NOT be seated in an emergency exit, and your husband (assuming he is traveling with you) should not be seated there either. The exit row passengers must not be responsible for another person on the plane, such as a child, elderly person, or disabled person. I am not calling you, his wife, “disabled,” but you are certainly NOT the person that should be sitting in an emergency exit row, even if you THINK you could/would handle any emergency. You, as evidenced by the very fact that you wrote what you did, are NOT sure of that and cannot be sure and should not sit there out of respect for the needs of others on board the plane. Your husband should not sit there if he intends to see you, his wife, out of the plane in an emergency. An emergency exit passenger should have no one else to worry about…just getting that door OPEN (and the doors can be VERY heavy, especially when you are working against wind or obstructions) and guiding/helping others out. Do you want to be responsible for that, given the vagaries of your condition? I hope not. If YOU had small children on that plane, would you want someone with MS in charge of evacuation? I HOPE NOT.
I am a flight attendant.
I am NOT a Flight Attendant, but I have dated quite a few of them.
Like nurses, they tend to be a real riot of fun, for they have seen everything humanity has to offer under the best of times, and the worst of times.
In a “velveteen” way, flight attendants become real over time.
Most FA’s have their opinion on travellers, TSA, their employer, life, the city they left, the city they will arrive, the Captain, their fellow crew, God, burping, and an eclectic array of other topics.
In general, they are also willing to comply with the law. And What Does the Law Have To Say About This? Let’s look ToniSuzanne, for I am hearing impaired instead of MS ‘d, and I encounter disability discrimination daily.
(try to find Closed Caption on YouTube, tho the law says what?).
And though I do not hear, my love for the sanctity of life would preclude me from moving out of the seat in discussion. If it were possible due to me, not one would perish in an accident, provided YOUR airline did not send you to me, and vacate me due to hearing inability.
From the Law:
Air Carrier Access Act of 1986 (ACAA)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seating Assignments
May an airline refuse to allow a person with a disability to sit in a particular seat?
Airlines cannot exclude passengers with disabilities from a particular seat or require them to sit in a certain seat, except to comply with FAA safety regulations, such as exit row seating.
What are the FAA regulations concerning seating next to emergency exits?
The FAA requires air carriers to determine, in a nondiscriminatory manner, if a passenger can perform the duties required of someone sitting in an exit row. Passengers seated in exit rows must be able to perform the following emergency functions:
*locate the door and quickly follow oral and written instructions
*determine when to open the door
open the door
*move quickly through the open exit
devote full attention to the emergency task
Under FAA regulations, an airline cannot deny transportation, but may refuse exit row seating, to passengers who:
*lack sufficient mobility, strength, or dexterity in both arms and hands or both legs to perform emergency evacuation tasks
*are less than 15 years old or need adult assistance to carry out the functions related to sitting in an exit row
*are unable to read or understand evacuation instructions
*lack the visual capacity to carry out emergency functions
*lack the ability to communicate orally
*have other responsibilities, such as caring for small children, that might prevent them from carrying out emergency functions in an exit row seat
*may injure themselves when carrying out emergency functions
The FAA requires cabin crews to inform passengers about the emergency duties associated with exit row seating and to request that passengers in exit-row seats who believe they cannot or do not want to fulfill these duties ask to be relocated to a seat not in an exit row. Airlines cannot require passengers to disclose their reasons for requesting reseating.
Must airlines satisfy the requests of passengers with disabilities who ask for particular seats on an aircraft?
Passengers who use an aisle chair to access the aircraft and who cannot transfer over a fixed aisle armrest must be assigned a seat in a row with a movable aisle armrest. Passengers with disabilities who ……
(this is lengthy, read the link if you want to be bored)
—-Sourced: http://www.scootaround.com/tips/airline/accessible_air_guide.htm
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Now, ToniSuzanne, I pray you tell everyone with this duty that the door opens INWARD, before it opens outward. And, you should tell them why.
Otherwise, the beefiest guy on the block will save no one while trying to push OUT first.
One of the difficulties with going deaf is that people cannot see it. What they cannot see, they can not understand.
Apparently, this holds true for MS as well, for people cannot see the MS. It is covered up with a skull and sometimes, hair.
I have been in an airport terminal and clearly reading the lips of a person looking directly at me.
I have walked up to discuss the matter with the total stranger,……only to find that he is on a BlueTooth connection (it is in his pocket; and behind his ear) talking on a phone to someone.
But I am in the conversation too since I read lips and think he is talking to me……no one else is around and he is clearly talking up a storm!
This drives me nuts and I hate BlueTooth.
WORSE, is a BlueToother talking to a real person, a phone person simultaneously, and ME thinking ALL that chatter is directed at me. I respond to all three.
On long flights, I have sat with the flight attendants on their little seats, chatting about their children with Autism, why they fly, where they will stay tonight versus where they live.
We “broke” the rules of seating, for it was closer to the coffee I love to refill over and over as I fly.
But I have made many a friend while travelling, and the stories I have heard would fill a book.
Enroute from Portland, OR to Tampa, we stopped in Albuquerque, NM. I left the cramped seat for the front window seat. Dad, mom, and 3 month old baby boarded and sat down by me.
After breast feeding, mom gave the baby to me to hold and even burp. We had a blast, looking down at Dallas streets, New Orleans (what’s left), and the Gulf. The flight would continue to Ft. Lauderdale for them, not me.
Dad borrowed my pen to do Sudoku. They were Mormons. They would buy a house in Florida soon, though I said wait for prices to plunge more. It was their first child. They met in college and married.
He had recently golfed with Johnny Miller (one of my favorites) and I told him of my favorite Johnny Miller quote. Miller left golf and became an announcer for ABC Sports. He was asked to contrast his career with the immortal Jack Nicklaus (who Miller was supposed to dethrone).
The quote: “When I got to the top of the mountain in my career, I stopped to admire the view. When Jack got to the top of the mountain, he looked around for new mountains to climb.”
I can still picture the smile on dad’s face and mom being happy to have a baby break while I made this work of God smile and laugh.
We discussed why they were moving and what neighborhoods I recommend they look for a home. He told me to watch the NFL broadcast from London — he would be there.
“What work are you in?”
“I play football.”
“What position?”
“Quarterback.”
“Is that FOOTBALL, as in Miami Dolphins?”
[grin] “Yup”
“Well, just remember one thing. If you get to the Superbowl, I am the one who lent you a pen for Sudoku and burped baby Tyler” [grin]
“Say, have you ever seen the movie “heaven Can Wait” where Julie Christie finally asks Warren Beatty (Joe) “You must be the quarterback….I’d love to have coffee with you!”
He nodded yes, he had seen the movie, and gave the biggest Mormon grin I ever saw. We discussed the best parts.
He was the new quarterback for the Miami Dolphins. I watched the local news two nights later (in Florida) as Dante Culpepper got fired, and my flight family was hired.
Now, how can a disabled guy learn all that, and NOT be qualified to open the damn door?
Given the will and struggle to live daily, an MS person with a proven capacity to overcome crisis is ideal sitting at that seat.
Flight attendants, of course, may sit with me!